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What's Left To Leave Behind

by Solanas

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1.
End Metaphor 01:52
come closer, speak louder: my tongue is tired, i’m left a broken and bent failure, black and blue from all the times that i let you all down - my quiet words were never taken too seriously; i tried to help us but i can’t. i stayed silver and out of reach (don’t forgive me), while you told me which words to keep (don’t forget me). so leave me here, quiet world, leave me here, broken words. my purpose fell apart.
2.
Frost Flower 04:01
slip, slip through my fingertips, making your way through the inside of my veins, you’ll tear me apart to make your way out, knowing you’ll never have to want me again frost flower - you’ll burst through my skin and then disappear first light will tear you away and out of my life, frost flower - it wasn’t a dream that i had to fear. afraid of my self, a body so bittersweet with lungs full of you and words trapped behind my teeth ashamed of myself, a body that’s incomplete a lost second chance when you never said goodbye hopeless to touch / helpless in love: it’s never the same, i burst through my veins, to feel you again
3.
hold light to my eyes, illuminate the guilt i feel and the void behind. it’s not meant to hurt, it’s not meant to hurt... i’ll hold my breath ‘til i see you again keep my eyes closed, place cold hands over them. i said i’m fine, i’ll never mind, i’m still alive (pull me apart again) the bleakest jazz rings in my ears and keeps me whole (pull me apart again). i’m incomplete: i’ll never feel better, i’ll never let go. blue notes turn in my mind, thoughts move in fives, keep me inside blue notes turn in my mind, a cold refrain that never dies.
4.
bury my thoughts in the places that our bodies might meet and tell me your dreams again, what’s left to leave behind? and what hope do i have to hidf? i don’t think i’ll dream again... with a mouth full of flowers and my lungs full of fear i’ll hold all my memories back and i saw your reflection in the greyest of skies but i held all my memories back. i’ll watch as you slip away to places i can’t see and hold my breath just one last time... with a mouth full of flowers and my lungs full of fear i’ll hold all my memories back and i saw your reflection in the greyest of skies but i held all my memories back. what’s left to leave behind? what’s left to hide?
5.
i’ll face this on my own terms - i blocked out the sun but i’ve opened up my heart; my body is structureless and my chest is a void to search between. i’ll still never say what is real or how i’ve felt this month but i’m sorry, that’s how i survive. cross out the sky (no more dreams) shut off my mind (never there) bury my breaths (no more air) and kill off the rest. i’ll keep my tired eyes closed and hope to dream of love but i’m sleeping less each night and my heart can barely beat my words have failed my tongue and my hands have failed my nerves, i’ll sew up my soul and leave room for some hope to grow... teach me how to feel real, wake me when i can breathe, tell me how i can try, keep me right by your side.

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TO BE RELEASED 25th APRIL 2016
RUBAIYAT RECORDS (UK)

credits

released April 25, 2016

Ollie Doe - Guitars, Vocals, Keys, Additional Percussion
Elliott Dixon - Drums, Vocals
Stef Saltalamacchia - Bass, Vocals

Recorded and mixed by Ollie Doe at home studios in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, UK.
Mastered by Will Killingsworth at Dead Air Studios, MA, USA.

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Solanas Newcastle Upon Tyne, UK

Ollie - Guitar, Vocals
Elliott - Drums, Vocals
Stef - Bass

Newcastle-upon-Tyne, UK

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