The Distance Within Our Bodies

by Solanas

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*** VINYL PRE-ORDER NOW AVAILABLE FROM bookcaserecords(dot)bigcartel(dot)com // solanas(dot)bigcartel(dot)com ***

This album was DIY from start to finish - the only people outside the band to be involved in producing this album were Chris Lafferty, providing some vocals, and Lewis Johns, who mastered it all.
All the songs were recorded in a purpose-built home studio, using our own gear and mixed by ourselves. The physical copies are also being self-released without the help of a label. We knew from the start that this record was about being true to ourselves, so we kept things personal even for the release.

Tapes and vinyl records available from solanas(dot)bigcartel(dot)com (LINK IN SIDE BAR)


released July 17, 2015

Recorded and mixed by Ollie Doe in Newcastle and Cramlington, UK, May - June 2015
Mastered by Lewis Johns at the Ranch, June 2015
Released 17/07/15

Ollie Doe - Guitars, Vocals, Keys
Elliott Dixon - Percussion, Vocals
Stef Saltalamacchia - Bass

Additional vocals on 'Stay Silver' and 'Coping' by Chris Lafferty (Wade/Sunday League/Get Into It Records/Washed Out Soap Co.)
Additional percussion throughout the album by Ollie Doe and Elliott Dixon



all rights reserved


Solanas Newcastle Upon Tyne, UK

Ollie - Guitar, Vocals
Elliott - Drums, Vocals
Stef - Bass

Newcastle-upon-Tyne, UK

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Track Name: Idyll of Identity
I’ll take the love from the deepest part of me; and leave behind a ghost.
I’ll close my eyes to the life that I can see; and that scares me the most.
Don’t leave me (don’t leave me) behind.
Salt my wounds
Hide my skin
Seal my lips
I cannot kiss.
I’ll never know my own name;
Line my eyes and stomach to swallow words again.
I’ll never feel right again,
Tear my heart from both my sleeves to feel no shame,
Hide from myself.
Track Name: Stay Silver
I’ve sounded out my greatest fear (Don’t move!)
Stepping out to the silent spotlight
(Who made) me the ideal person for this?
(I can’t hold) you all in my hands any more.
I can’t give up, I can’t distance myself.

I’m not the person that these people seem to hold me to
I’ve gone so far to get where I’ve already been
These cries of guilt will strip my throat raw and my shame bare
And leave me empty, screaming hopelessness and hate.
I’m not a martyr, I just want to be the honest one;
It isn’t getting any easier for me
To sing the songs that they all sing with open arms
Of what we are and what we wanted to be.
But I have tried, I have been tried and I’ve been tested
By broken mirrors that we still can’t see our best in.
I’m only half of you, but I still have that heavy heart;
We’re both like fractions but we’re so far apart
(Like we always were)
My disguise (stay silver)
Falls apart (gold has gone)
In your eyes (stay silver)
I’ll be yours (gold has gone)
Track Name: Home
Lay me down and leave me on my knees
Put me down and leave my dry lips be
When I fall I know I’m scared to be alone
I know this mind will never feel like home

Let me drink my sorry eyes to sleep
Let me feel the words behind my teeth.
Lay me down and leave me in my mind,
Put me down and leave my words behind.
When I fall I know I’m scared to be alone
The distance between our bodies will never feel like home.

Sky – take my body, earth – take my bones
Track Name: Hangnail
I’m not doing well, I’m hiding it well enough
But I just can’t seem to see a way out any more
So I’ll bite the skin from my own fingertips
And promise myself that I’ll be alright soon enough.
Losing my face
Failing my frame
My soul erased,
Failing in vain
I’ll tear out my nails; the worry tears me apart
And I just can’t feel any different any more
I’ll disguise my shame and drink away my pain
And convince myself that I’ll be okay soon enough
Losing my face
Failing my frame
My soul erased,
Failing in vain
Shut my eyes to hide the world, shut my mouth to hide my words
Track Name: Pink Lakes
Torn from your homes with a longing in your eyes,
Forlorn and alone, a pariah in disguise.
No hope, no warmth, no safety – no tears for loss of faith
You have a home in our hearts, lovers so far away.
Call out our name
Cry us a river
Share in our pain
We’ll be your mirror

Feel your heart beat (feel)
Feel your eyes burn (feel)
Feel your heart beat (feel)
Feel your eyes burn
I won’t let you drown this time, in pink lakes of fear
I won’t let you fall away to pink lakes of tears
Track Name: Coping
Everything falls apart; everything fails
Everyone falls apart; everyone fails

My tired eyes will fall upon my failures
My heavy heart left in my calloused hands
Every day, unconscious to the outside world
And trying to find an excuse to pretend that I’m alive

The thought of saying I’m just that lost can only make me sick
For fear of loss of what I know
So I’ll let the skeletons keep piling up
To feel I’ve made myself a home.

I’ve got faith that I can cope
I hope my life is more than hope.

Day by day
Track Name: Bury Me
I’ve burnt out my soul
Thinking ‘bout silencing everything
I’ve never felt so cold
So I’m burning down everything inside of me
I’ve stared at the sun
Hoping to blind myself with the light
I’ll drink myself to sleep
Trying to disappear from my own mind

Because I know
that sometimes you just want to let me go
And I know
That we can never do this forever

Six months numb to life
I can’t remember when I felt alive
And lie awake at night
Wishing for an end to it

So to my scattered body go,
My soul and face left in the ground,
To find the world I wish I knew
And the life I left behind
I’ll leave your distant body there,
Your perfect place so far away,
To keep you from the world I know
And the life I think is mine

I don’t
Know who
I am
These days
I don’t
Know what
I can

Bury Me
Track Name: Out For Honesty
Keep me inside, keep me afraid
Stay in my mind, stay in my bed
Out for honesty (I’m coming out)
Out more honestly (I’m coming out)
Maybe I’ll just say it
Take my chances on it
Out for honesty (I’m coming out)
Out more honestly (I’m coming out)
We won’t go down quiet
Track Name: What We Were / What We Are / What We Want To Be
I took my place in this world: a ghost
I took my name to heart for us both
All we were to the world was smoke

I remember the first time you let out in front of me
I swore I’d never let go (I meant it)

I swore I’d always be there (I meant it)
Promised it would all be fine (I kept it)
I’ve been through worse than this and (I’ve felt it):
Knowing what we really are.

Gone with the passing hour, come brightly burning fire
I’ll live in secrecy before I admit it’s no mistake.

As the curtain, as the curtain falls again –
One more night in the firing line.
I can’t sleep, lest I fall apart again.
This façade is wearing thin.

Separate identity from me.
Segregate feeling from reality.
Media: take my heart, make me feel wrong to be.
Equal eyes, stubborn mind, fearful of integrity:

The hollow me - for me to see.